If you’re wondering if perfectionism is a boon and striving for perfection is the only motive in your life. Let me tell you that it can also be the root cause of your failure.
The pursuit of perfection entails wanting more all the time. It’s reaching objectives without feeling satisfied, competing in ongoing events, and always looking for bigger, better, and brighter. Setting standards for yourself that you’d never have for anyone else is what it means to be a perfectionist.
The majority of individuals would view having high standards as positive. Pursuing excellence can demonstrate a strong work ethic and moral integrity. High expectations also motivate you to perform at your very best. For instance, to thrive in their sports, sportsmen frequently train extensively.
On the other hand, perfectionism has the propensity to have extremely high standards that are either impossible to meet or can only be met with difficulty. Perfectionists frequently think that anything less than perfect is awful and that even slight flaws would have disastrous consequences.
What Causes Perfectionism In The First Place?
The basis of perfectionism is a deeply held conviction that your self-worth exclusively depends on your accomplishments. This is made worse by the fact that perfection is what standard perfectionists aim for (which we all know is impossible). As a result, one never feels satisfied.
Perfectionism could have its roots in early events like parental demands. It can even result from receiving excessive praise for accomplishments when you were younger and depending on that praise to make you feel valuable. Mental health issues, a need to feel in control, and low self-esteem can all contribute.
Can I Overcome The Perfectionist Mindset?
Yes, of course! There are various methods to release the burden of irrationally high expectations and let go of the pursuit of perfection.
You’re already on the correct track if you’re determined to learn how to stop being a perfectionist. Self-identity, faith in your ability, and conviction in your opinions are key to overcoming perfectionism tendencies. In other words, improving your thinking and beliefs is the key.
You can incorporate many different routines into your day to aid you in getting where you want to go.
1. Change Your Mindset
Your thoughts on life and how you perceive the world around you contribute to how you feel about yourself. Therefore, creating a mindset out of fantasised beliefs will take work.
Think about if your perception of oneself is grounded in reality or perhaps in how you interpret the events in the past. Try to alter your thinking and self-perception to reflect reasonable expectations and the notion that you deserve more than membership.
2. Get Rid Of An “All-Or-Nothing” Mindset
The “all-or-nothing” mentality affects perfectionists in general to a great extent. People who strive for perfection often think in terms of highly rigid dichotomies. Say “Black” or “White,” for instance. “Nothing” or “All.” “Failure” or “Success.” Either finish everything or wait to accomplish anything at all.
However, such thinking is, at best imaginary and self-defeating. In the real world, nobody succeeds effortlessly without experiencing failure. Every athlete follows in competition with experiencing training difficulties. Every entrepreneur must first experience some sort of success. Furthermore, only some people create outstanding work by first labouring with their resources and churning out subpar results. In truth, nothing happens all at once; everything happens in stages.
3. Acknowledge Today
An excellent strategy to avoid obsessing over where you should be is to accept where you are at any given time. Take a moment to recognise and be grateful for where you are and how far you’ve gone if things get out of hand.
Excuse the cliché, but enjoying the process can help satisfy each step of work and curb perfectionism (which is all about the endgame).
You may boost your self-worth and build confidence by acknowledging each step as you take it. You will be able to let go of the impulse to strive for perfection once you realise that each step is equally vital to the next.
4. Leave Your Negative Talks Behind
I can relate to the self-talk and self-neglect that occur, especially when things get complicated, because I am a perfectionist. When things don’t go as expected, it’s simple to criticise oneself. Because you value your work so highly, putting your well-being last is simple. It’s simple to take responsibility for the problems and errors of others.
But typically occurs because you need to hold yourself in sufficiently high regard. When I’m not satisfied with how things are going, I tend to use phrases like “I detest myself” or “I’m a miserable person.” But the reason is that I put others’ needs and aspirations before my self-identity and love.
‘To finish my work and meet deadlines, I sacrifice my comfort and sleep. But that’s because I don’t value my health enough compared to my purpose.
Does this imply that we should disregard everyone else’s needs in favour of prioritising our own? Of course not, never. In other words, we must learn to value our own needs while also respecting those of others. Just as we must learn to love others unconditionally, we must also learn to love ourselves and our shortcomings. And we should undoubtedly keep working hard at our art without sacrificing our health.
5. Seek Assistance
Developing a practice of asking for help is an actionable method to alter your thinking. Not asking for help is frequently a side consequence of being a perfectionist.
If you need help figuring out where to begin, consider speaking with your life coach. They could give you advice on how to realign your attention or assist you in refocusing your thoughts on the greater picture with particular undertakings.
They may even exhibit perfectionistic traits themselves and be able to guide how to deal with them.
6. Instead Of Seeking Perfection, Change Your Focus To Doing Your Best
You should perform your very best when it matters. Gaining success on important jobs and initiatives is essential to reaching your objectives. But you must strike a balance between your aspirations and reasonable expectations.
You will continually fall short when you have unattainable expectations of perfection, which might cause dissatisfaction. Depression may result from trying to win the game of perfection when you know you can never succeed. You can lower stress and anxiety levels by changing your ambitions to “great, but not flawless.”
7. Recognise and Avoid Mistakes
Make the most of your experiences to grow. Accept constructive criticism and see it as valuable knowledge. Pay attention to the learning process. Instead of focusing on your ability to be flawless, try to become more confident in your potential to progress.
8. Alter Your Self-Talk
Be mindful of your ideas. You might convince yourself, “This needs to be flawless,” or “It would be terrible if I made a mistake,” due to your perfectionism. You might believe “I’m not good enough,” “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I’m a complete failure” when you perform less than flawlessly.
Discouragement can be brought on by judgmental and negative messages. Change the things you tell yourself. Use phrases like “I will do my best,” “Even though it’s not perfect, I still had fun,” or “Even if I make a mistake, I can try again” when talking to yourself. These words are more motivating and prevent you from giving up too soon.
9. Become Comfortable With Imperfection
If you’ve demonstrated excellent performance in a few areas in the past, you can experience extreme pressure to maintain your record of success. This might make you reluctant to try anything new.
Trying something new or picking up a new skill are two ways to get around this. Recognise that you can’t complete everything correctly, so you should unwind. Enjoy the process of learning and the experience of doing something interesting.
Living a short life due to lacking the guts to attempt new things or take risks might result from having a perfectionist mindset.
Problems With Perfectionism
Even though some actions may seem advantageous, striving for perfection is not a productive strategy for success. According to research, perfectionism can lead to the following:
- Lower standards of accomplishment: Less work is done due to procrastination and taking too long to perfect a task.
- Emotional distress: Negative emotions, such as tension, worry, sadness, and sentiments of self-hatred, are more likely to affect perfectionists.
Burnout: The unattainable standards of a perfectionist lead them to work excessively to meet them, which starts a vicious cycle that eventually leads to burnout.
Love From Your Coach
It’s time to put your perfectionism to use after you begin using these practices. Use your perfectionist perspective to become perfectly imperfect rather than focusing on performing your work to the most exacting of standards.
This requires making an effort to alter your mentality successfully. Don’t allow yourself to work too hard trying to get everything “exactly right”; instead, concentrate on being outstanding at time management, completing tasks quickly, and not taking too long to solve difficulties.
1. What makes someone a perfectionist?
Perfectionists frequently think that nothing they accomplish is worthwhile unless it is flawless. They could continuously compare their work to that of others or get fixated on producing excellent work rather than being proud of their development, learning, or hard effort.
2. Is trying to be a perfectionist a weakness?
When asked what your biggest flaw is, “perfectionism” will not do because it is not a true weakness. Since perfectionism is a fear-based tendency, it is impossible to achieve and only produces short-term benefits like meeting deadlines and exceeding expectations.
3. Am I simply a perfectionist, or do I have OCD?
How you feel about your actions and rituals is a crucial distinction between perfectionism and OCD. While a person with OCD experiences a very different anxiety if they don’t carry out their rituals, a perfectionist can believe that not organising their closet in a certain way will make them appear sloppy.